Saturday, December 6, 2008
OMG! Who am I today?
Wow today has been a day. I was just not me at all. It has been a very long and frustrating day. My mind didn't seem to be working at all causing me to do double work because I would forget things. I was tripping left and right and letting things slip through my fingers. I felt like a 16 year old awkward adolescent growing into his mind and body and nothing seemed to work properly. Gangly limbs flailing like a new born calf trying to walk and incoherent thoughts sputtering about mind like camera flashes trying to light up a stadium. *Chuckles* Come to think of it... I was sexually frustrated like the geeky teen I use to be as well >.< . Despite it all ... today was still a very good day. My bosses and co-workers were great. They all got a good laugh at seeing me ... not me lol. That kept my spirits up really. I was able to finish out the day fine. I am exausted tonight. I didn't even want to attempt making something delicious and healthy to eat and instead went and picked up a peperoni pizza and orange soda for me and the lil ones. I had lots of redecorating plans for tonight but those are definitely out the window. I used my last bit of sanity and strength to get these lil ones bathed and in pajamas. They are coloring with markers as I write this. Tori is showing me her picture of Japanese girl and her name written in Kanji (or at least she thinks it is >.<). When I am done here we are crawling under the blankets and going to watch Dora the Explorer Saves the Snow Princess and then Wall-E .... the same things we watched last night. I know shar would laugh in my face at what I call being at paitence end, lol, but I am all finished tonight ^.^.
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Kudos to you sunshine! I wish I had your ability to always seem so cheery. I think I just smiled for the first time all day... well... technically all of yesterday too since it is 5am now but you know what I mean. Some days you just have to be someone else to remember who you are. Here is a conversation I recently had with Charlie, the owner of the bar I go to down the road, that I thought fit here for some reason:
The other night Charlie accused me of having multiple personalities. I asked him why as innocently as I could (which took real strength let me tell you, lol) he replied 'Well first there is how you dress.' I gave him my best bewildered look and he continued, 'like tonight for instance you are all pinks and girly...'
I replied 'well I am a girl you know'.
He gave me a look and continued, 'the other night you had on those nifty black pants with the white straps and looked very sophisti-goth' I gave him a half grin and waited. 'then at patty's birthday part you wore that insane purple dress and...'
I lifted an eyebrow and asked 'insane?' he managed to look a little guilty, 'well it was driving me insane' then he actually chuckled but then continued to continue. it was great, lol!
So yeah... after hearing all that I felt pretty good about how I looked when I go out and stuff but when I got home and slipped into just my bed clothes I felt just as happy.
It was strange. I am different people at different times, I think Shar actually had it right the first time "... our core selves will tell us what the answer is when we finally have to make choices."
Oh and I totally understand the patience thing. I can quote all 300+ Blues Clues episodes, and know all the Dora characters by heart. Jason thinks I am a complete nut, lol. Thats alright, he is my King Kashue (Cashew) and I am his Armitage. That was two obscure anime reference all right, um hmm! XD
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